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| 12:05pm 07/04/2009 |
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Don't know what else to do with this, so here.
Just wanted to thank you for the great review, especially the excerpts. I'm trying to get into more of the classics now that I've got a lot of free time, but the problem is that there are so many translations to choose from! I remember reading & comparing David Magarshak's translation with that of Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky. When I first started reading Magarshak's interpretation, I wasn't happy with it... the words seemed funny and the syntax felt "off"... At first I felt the newer translation was a breath of fresh air because it was "easier", but then I realized that the style of writing was too modern, and it didn't suit the characters or plot very well. Some quotes I had copied down from Magarshak's version were different here, in my opinion, for the worse. I missed the "silliness" of what was being said, the wording in Magarshak's version seemed to make things seem much more "outrageous".
Anyway. So i live in knoxville, so our apartment is disgusting, so so so so so I'm too lame to do anything about it.
Also, strangely enough, haven't managed to stay put in knoxville for even 3 weeks at a time. Absenteeism?
Want to get out right now but my car is fucked up and supposedly is being fixed. We'll see how that goes. Hopefully it's done in time for me to leave by 11 PM tomorrow night. Oy.
Also, I take geodon right now. I fucking hate it. I mean, true, I'm not unhappy, but I also wake up feeling exhausted.
Was going to go to sleep earlier, but realized I would have to take the geodon again and so I'd wake upin6 hours, feel like shit for 2 hours, sleep for another 8, wake up for 14, then do it all over again. Fuck that.
Well, i'll probably go tosleep sometime soon. Gotta let the maintenance man in to air-blast out the drain of our tub.
Also, all i do now is update twitter. I'm in the top 50 in knoxville. Pathetique, right? This means I can't leave knoxville.
Guess what my twitter username is.
:P |
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| omfg mike saw it |
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| 06:54pm 17/02/2009 |
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needed mike to send someone a letter proving my rent was $810 a month. emailed him asking him to do so, he emailed me back...
On Feb 17, 2009, at 4:26 PM, hohenadel21@gmail.com wrote:
I printed it out and it is ready to mail. However, before I send it I would like that you remove your thoughts about me from your blog. I know that you feel strongly about your free speech rights but it is very likely that this goes beyond that freedom and I would prefer that you remove it.
-Mike
this is the blog post
OOOH BURN!
Mike -
Glad to hear you're keeping up with my blog!
I had been planning on editing the post a bit, because there are clearly times when my opinion comes through more strongly than the fact (though I posted nothing untrue), but I really don't think there is any reason to remove it completely. My point is to get the facts across: you unjustly kicked me out of the apartment, and you signed a statement agreeing to pay me money which you have now refused to.
I have to run some errands tonight and I'll plan on editing it later, but unless you can find me a legal statute that says something about telling the negative truth about a person is absolutely black-and-white against the law, I have no intention of removing it.
Furthermore, if the post remains up (and I can't think of a legitimate reason for it not to), I may have to add that you are again trying to infringe upon my freedom of speech rights - this time, from 700 miles away.
So: What you need to do now is mail the letter and if you really want the post down, then give me proof that it is illegal for me to have it up.
-Amanda
booya. |
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| 12:19am 06/02/2009 |
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music: Nature Boy - Soundtrack - The Talented Mr. Ripley
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So, right now it is 11:41 PM.
I am going to write until 12:11 AM or until I have 500 words. Whichever comes first. And NO INTERRUPTIONS.
Anyway.
Tonight I saw Monica. I love her. I feel like I don’t know how to behave in front of her, though
---note--- lately i have been really anal and having a lot of trouble writing, and i go back and redo a sentence like 8 times and I just feel like I can never get it right... well, i’m not going to do that at all in this because it’s just a waste of time and effort.
Anyway, it’s hard to know how to act around Monica because SHE is a motormouth. She does NOT STOP TALKING. And I don’t have a problem with that, it’s totally fine with me, but tonight there was one point at dinner where she started talking to this guy Carlos and I had things to contribute to the conversation but I really could not get a word in edgewise. Neither could Carlos, for that matter. But it doesn’t matter. The things Monica says are interesting, so she’s not annoying or anything, it’s just hard to keep up.
Just got the little “Phrr” email sound, but I am not going to check it because I vowed not to do anything until this writing was done. Well, I didnt’ really vow not to do anything, I just thought of that now.
Anyway, after dinner we went back to Monica’s because she told me she just got a Neurofeedback system, and I had heard about it in the book “The Head Trip: Adventures on the Wheel of Consciousness” and it seemed really really interesting. Plus, Monica is a hypnotherapist, a palm reader, and all around very “seeing” person. So really, anything she’s into I am interested in.
And the special appeal of neurofeedback to ME is that it’s actually SCIENCE.
SCIENCE.
You attach electrodes/leads to different parts of your head, corresponding to different parts of your brain. Tonight we put the leads on both sides of my head, about one inch above each ear. It’s like when they gave me an EEG 8 or 9 years ago, except then they put them all over my head. The spots we put the leads on today were T3 and T4, which “connect” to the temporal lobe.
It’s SCIENCE. It’s an EEG. They perform EEGs in HOSPITALS.
It’s just a really different interpretation of EEG results.
Instead of getting a printout you get a fancy on-screen graph. And not like, a line graph, but like a 3D graph, think of a 3D map of a mountain range, at the lowest or flattest spots it’s black, then as the “elevation” or brain activity goes up it turns blue, red, orange, yellow, and white. The Y component of the “graph” is time, so if you’re looking facing it, it looks like the “map” is moving away from you and new peaks are being formed in the front as the old ones disappear in the back - these new “peaks” at the front of the graph are the up-to-the-moment EEG results.
Now, the X component of the graph is a little bit harder to explain. It’s hertz. What does that mean? Well, I think it goes delta, alpha, theta, beta, and high beta. I can’t really remember what order these go in, but it’s right there on the software so when I go back tomorrow I’ll see it again. Maybe get a screen shot or something.
Anyway, below the “3d map” is the hertz setting. You change the setting of what hertz to measure your brain waves at, so you will be able to find your “peak performance” setting.
So, how do you find your “peak performance” just based on these brain waves showing up on the computer? And who says it’s real?
Well, one thing that was cool was Monica told me to try and move my head from side to side then to look back at the graph and look at the composite line, and I could see a large jump up above then down below the normal line, obviously from the activity. We tried the same thing with my eyes - after having looked just at the screen for a moment, she told me to move my eyes to the left, then when I looked back at the screen there was another significant bump on the line.
This line was a composite of all the different hertz readings, whereas the “map” was a reading of levels for one specific hertz measurement.
Moving the eyes and the head didn’t seem to have much of an effect on the map, but that was because we were generally measuring the low delta and alpha waves, and I imagine that these motor functions are more likely to show up as having come from higher hertz functions- theta or beta.
One thing that did show up even on the low hertz measurements was when I would laugh.
I was kind of surprised, because I would have expected to raise some peaks by thinking (since i think so much) - i just thought any brain strain or activity would create a change in the map - and it did a little, but nothing compared to laughing.
Also, Monica asked me to describe something very sad, and I did, and the waves were REALLY rockin’ from that. So, happy & sad emotions clearly caused neurolectrical activity (i made that word up. neurolectrical, not activity) whereas “boring” or “logical” thoughts weren’t so provocative.
I really was surprised that just regular thoughts/ponderings didn’t show up as much, because I some of the thoughts I was having were of extreme excitement. I have written almost 1,000 words in 18 minutes, that’s how excited I am. Just looking and seeing the way things can change like that is AMAZING.
I’m sure it’s been done before, but I really want to put that on and record it while I’m watching “LOST” or something, and see what ranges my mind is working in there.
Anyway.
So, the map is neat.
BUT that’s not the cool part.
The cool part is the GAMES.
Monica had 2 screens up, the left was a laptop and held all the charts and graphs and maps and lines, whereas the right was blank for a while until we started the games. The first one was this “ball” game. The screen was filled up with a grid of blue dots, and a white ball would move back and forth along each row of dots, at the end moving to the next row... The ball was white and somewhat transparent but with a red swirl around it. Now, see, what was cool was when your brain was in the “ideal” range, the ball would move along the rows at a good speed, and each time it hit a blue dot it would beep. What Monica pointed out as being important was the blue trail it left behind.
If your brain was in the ideal hertz rang. If not, the ball would stop or stutter, and usually the trail would disappear.
So, you wanted to have your ball keep moving to keep your brain in the right place.
Also, because each “square” of the grid that the ball passed through would then turn into a tile for a large nature photo. So I guess you were supposed to really want to see the nature photo and focus hard enough?
That’s what drove me crazy about it though: you can’t just “focus” and have it work. It really feels kind of arbitrary at this point, but I think that is because I’m new to it. I am really angry that it’s so hard to know what to do.
One thign though, was whenever I was listening to or talking to Monica the ball would pretty much stop in its tracks, because my brain was funcitoning on a different level. I was kind of interested in that. Because I figured thinking would be on a different realm from everyday communication, but it really isn’t at all. Though my thinking wouldn’t send my alpha waves into...
I am so fucking tired but I can’t remember what I was gonig to write about. RRRGH so goodnight.
So I think I'm still going through Cymbalta withdrawal, because I just saw an eHarmony commercial, and instead of making me want to hurl, it made me want to cry.
Umm, so yeah. I forgot what I wanted to write about. I can't ...
N ow i remember what it was - it's weird coming back here because NOTHING has changed. I went into Office Maz and all the same people who worked there when I did are still there. It's so weird!
Especially since I'm used to having things change when I go "back" somewhere. Kirkwood, especially. If i go "back" I'm so shocked at how everything has changed.
So, I guessed I thought "well, going back to key west, everyhting will be weird and different" - but it's not, not at all.
Also, watched LOST with Cindy and Donna last night, which was great because they're great.
Really would like to put some of those leads back on my head and watch LOST! Maybe I will tomorrow.
Anyway I am sooo tired i think i am going to go to sleep. I really like sleeping on this couch but it is cold. I don't want to go upstairs but tehre are blankets up there, though I'm sure if i go up there to get a blanket off of the bed i'll just go to sleep in the bed. But that's OK with me. A OK!
I wish I wasn't so tired, i kind of want to go out. But i am DEAD!
Anyway, goodnight peepz. |
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| Just some writing. |
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| 10:39pm 18/01/2009 |
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mood:  tired music: none
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Here's what I wrote today about the situation with me and Tarek. More to come. What I really need to do is write about every period of my life and organize it chronologically.
Enjoy.
*Oh- i know some of the word choices here suck, but I mean to come back to them.
I can’t remember the last time that I wrote, but I can remember a couple things... I remember writing about the situation with my roommates in Park Slope - that they had decided to expel me from the apartment based on their lack of respect for the concept of free speech and for those with disabilities.
I really wish I had taken them to court, although I guess it isn’t really too late. And I think I have grounds for it, considering that they still owe me almost $900. And more, if they get the new tenant to pay part of the broker fee.
But, as I know I’ve already written on that subject, let’s move forward. We agreed that my move-out date was to be January 2nd, which I complied with completely. I told them I would be out by 5 PM that day, and I was.
The next place I was to move to was Bay Ridge. This is southwest Brooklyn. It really was one of my last choices of places I wanted to move, but the situation seemed great: Work for a man writing textbooks teaching Arabic, by typing, proofreading, and working on his website. And the rent would be free.
Sounds great, right? It was, a little bit. But it was also a little weird. I didn’t have a bedroom, but the living room, which didn’t bother me all that much. But Tarek was always home. And he always left his door open. Not to mention the fact that he gave me the impression that I wasn’t really to come and go as I pleased. I mean, he never stopped me, but once I spent the night at a friend’s house (I should say “the” friend, as Paul is my only friend in NY) and the next morning when I got back he seemed angry, and he said he always wanted me to call if I was going to spend the night out. Even if it was 4 AM.
I figured, okay, that’s a little strange, but I guess that’s because I am working for him and he wants me to be there when I am supposed to be working. Though I didn’t think that the middle of the night would really count as part of my work hours, and I thought my returning by 9:00 AM the next day would make his point moot. I guess I was wrong.
The other strange thing was that when I WAS working with him, he seemed to give me too many compliments. I mean, saying that I’m smart is one thing, but saying that I’m a genius, that I should be a national landmark, that I am his princess, that he will do everything possible to make me happy, that that is his life’s purpose now...
It got a little weird. He also always cooked for me, and seemed offended when I wasn’t able to consume the large portions he gave me. And he gave me the impression that I was supposed to eat ONLY what he gave me. He wanted me to be healthy, so I would be able to work for him at 100 %.
The day before I left, part of a translation we were working on involved a prostitute. He brought up, almost as a joke, “You know what’s funny? I was almost a pimp once!” He said it like it was some old anecdote, but he went on to say that as he was often host for Arabic royals, he was responsibile for their “entertainment,” and when he was asked for women he didn’t know what to do. He said he contacted the other girls who had lived with him but they had all refused, and then asked if I would ever do it, saying I could make thousands of dollars a night. He asked me to stand up and turn around, saying things about my body that would make anybody uncomfortable. He was really insistent that I do it, because it would be great for the both of us.
He also said a few other things and asked a few questions that were very inappropriate, and I won’t mention them here because this is a “family blog”.
At another point, he said one morning he saw that I was having a nightmare, and that he thought I should sleep in his bed, just next to him, nothing sexual of course, just so that I wouldn’t have fitful sleep. He said he did this with a lot of the girls who lived with him, and it helped them and he thought it would help me.
Now, I have to say that it wasn’t always this unusual. At first it seemed like the little oddities here or there were just cultural differences, as he had spent most of his life in Egypt, I felt that he deserved forgiveness for a minor faux pas here or there. And they were minor in the beginning. When I would tell other people about his antics early in our living situation, they would be amused, though later as the things he said grew a bit stronger and more divergent from the path of normalcy, my friends were less amused at the things I would repeat to them. More “creeped out” and “skeeved”. So was I.
Friday Jan. 9th, 8 days after I had moved in, I had a doctor’s appointment early in the morning. After the appointment, I went to Paul’s house and hung out until 7 PM, at which point Tarek called. He said something like “You’re not at home...” and I said “Yes, I’m at Paul’s house.” “Well, I am leaving for work soon, call me when you get home.”
I agreed, hung up, and continued to watch TV with Paul. At 7:30, Tarek called again and said I had to move out, and that I had to come over and do it right then. I really wasn’t shocked or upset, because he seemed a little bipolar about the whole thing from the start. Some times he would say things like “I don’t know if this is working out” and at other times he would say “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
I guess I had subconsciously expected this to happen, because I hadn’t even begun to unpack since I had moved in. I went over, and was putting things together, when I noticed in a drawer a digital video camera. I took it out and looked at it, because I wanted to see if it worked for Mac. It did. I set it in my bag, intending to steal it. I went into the other room and when I came out Tarek was standing there and said “Why do you have my camera in your bag?” I hadn’t expected to get caught (as I never do) so I said “Oh, that was a mistake.” and put it back in the drawer where I had found it. “Did you take anything else that isn’t yours?” “No,” I answered, honestly.
I was able to get everything into my car in 3 trips. As the room was pre-furnished, I had put the majority of my belongings in a storage facility a few blocks away.
I didn’t feel upset or angry at all, but I must have been somewhere inside, as when I started to drive back to Paul’s (since he said I could stay with him for a few days) I went the wrong way down a one-way street. And one I was familiar with, too, having travelled it at least two times a day since I’d moved.
Later that night, Tarek emailed me asking me to design a graphic for him, saying he would pay me $25 for it. I said I would consider it, and wanted to confirm that he would give me co-author credit for my work on his book. He said no, since I didn’t write it (which wasn’t true: he gave me loose translations which I had to expand and make comprehensible, as well as annotate with my own research on various cultural subjects. Overall, I had written 2/3 of the book.
But anyway, he said I wouldn’t be paid or receive credit for my work, and that I had stolen a $3,000 camera from him and that he was going to report me. Since I had access to his godaddy.com internet account, I logged in and changed the username and password. He said this was my “third violation in an hour”, which was clearly far from the truth.
I started to write him a long email back, explaining how any judge would see me in the right in this situation, especially if I told them about his taking advantage of my desperate situation and trying to coerce me into prostitution, but I gave up on it. I was sitting next to Paul at the time, so of course I couldnt’ write three words without him peeking at them and criticizing them. Of course, it was constructive criticism, but it’s really hard to write with that going on. |
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| here I come. |
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| 10:09pm 11/01/2009 |
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Found a place in Knoxville.
Here's part of the ad.
"There are a lot of graduate students living here and there is a nice scenic trail in the back. There is a computer lab, a laundry room, a recreation room with a pool table, an exercise room, and a TV room. I also have internet in my apartment. There are several tennis courts and a pool."
$200 a month.
BOOYA!
I'll be there by 5 pm wednesday. |
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| What a terrible nickname |
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| 08:04am 08/01/2009 |
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Someone on MSNBC just referred to Rod Blagojevich as "Bloggo"... what an idiot! Blagojevich has got to be the most fun-to-say name on TV for the last 5 years.
Better than Chief Moose.
Also, I think President Bush kind of looks like my dad a little bit... both have that smiling "naive" thing going on. Hunter, remember when Kyle pronounced it "Knave"?
new post on audrizzle. |
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| Right-wing Prop-8 Supporter seeks Dykes Who'd Like to Kick his Ass |
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| 06:03pm 29/12/2008 |
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Not a big surprise this got removed from craigslist.
ahhh Paul... god love ya.
Right-wing Prop-8 Supporter seeks Dykes Who'd Like to Kick his Ass (Brooklyn, NYC, Manhattan)
I was in California for several months working to help get Prop-8 passed, and the proposition's success brought me great happiness. Still, seeing all these angry gay people makes me think that, although Prop 8's passing was a very good thing - passing by a large margin in a pro-Liberal Obamaa year and state, and overwhelmingly approved by minorities - i feel some a little guilt about the stress it's caused those on the wrong, and losing, side of the issue. If any of you who are angry about the November results would like to take out any of your frustration on someone who actively supported - and still does support - Prop 8, you can feel free. I'd be happy to meet you in public or private, and i can take punches, kicks, spitting, and whatever you have to offer. |
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| stfu billy pilgrim. |
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| 12:36pm 29/12/2008 |
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mood:  amused
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paul: do you have a favorite pop-tart flavor?
amanda: strawberry no frosting
paul: <---blueberry no frosting.
amanda: dick
paul: i like anything blueberry. though blueberries themselves are pretty tasteless.
amanda: ok whatever billy pilgrim
amanda: that would be funny
paul: never saw that movie. and explain. please. maybe i'll want to see it.
paul: brb. gotta help dad unload groceries from car.
amanda: to just have a character on a TV show or something who as an insult will call someone the name of a kurt vonnegut character
amanda: ITS A FUCKING BOOK
amanda: SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE
amanda: anyway calling you that had nothing to do with what you said
amanda: i just thought it would be funny to have a character who calls people names from kurt vonnegut books for fun
My new game is whenever i'm talking to paul i call him a dick for no reason or say "Why are you such a dick?" and he always is like "What? What am i doing wrong" and doesn't catch on that i'm just fucking with him.
Countdown - T minus 4 days til I have to be out of here, and I still have nowhere to go.
One guy has a place in Bay Ridge though that he's going to let out for $350 a month IF you help him with proofreading, typing, and HTML.
Awesome, rite?
He said to call after 8 pm, and i TOTALLY WILL.
The end! |
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| sodfhsdg |
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| 12:17pm 28/12/2008 |
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all i do is hang out at Paul's house, but I don't touch his peen very often. Mostly I say "Why are you such a dick?" just to annoy him. it's a fucked up fucked up relationship.
also, look at this, the woman's foot is like twice the length of her head.
http://www.asciipr0n.com/pr0n/pinups/pinup26.txt |
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| nice |
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| 10:19am 16/12/2008 |
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| holy shit |
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| 05:25am 15/12/2008 |
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music: Amphibian - Björk - No Album
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I had a lucid dream last night.
I don't remember much about it except I kept thinking/saying/yelling "Holy shit, i'm having a lucid dream! I'm having a lucid dream! I'm lucid dreaming!"
It was kind of weird.
also I didn't overdose tonight but i was very close.
I cut a LOT though. Brown bathwater.
I started writing some memoirs, though, and before i got tired they were pretty good.
2500 words, six pages.
Here's an excerpt:
So around April 2006 I started to carve an equilateral triangle into my left forearm. Three is kind of “my number,” and a triangle is a very easy shape. It also symbolizes balance, supposedly. I actually decided to start this project the day of the blood drive at my college. I gave blood, and watched Chris Maue do the same across the room. He looked dizzy, and for some reason I wanted to prove myself more “extreme” than him. I pumped my left hand and made sure that I filled my bag before he did. I stood up without difficulty, took my sticker, and left. I met my friends outside the dorms (though I didn’t live there) and hung out with them while they smoked. I brought out the scalpel I had bought at the medical supply store a mile or so away (only $.87) and started cutting. I remember flinging my arm with enough intensity so that blood drops would fall and hit the ground.
All the students entering and leaving the dorms had to walk between Molly, Adam, Will and me, so of course within 15 minutes a security officer came out and asked me to stop. When I asked his reasoning, he said I couldn't bleed in public. “What, are you crazy? People are bleeding all over the place in the University Center, maybe you should go tell them to stop.” He didn’t find this amusing.
Anyway, i'm tired of writing, and it's 5:23 AM.
Casey came in town this weekend after I tried to kill myself thursday. He seemed kind of pissed at me but he always seems that way. He helped me clean my stuff up a little bit. and told me that I am a drunk, which I am.
Anyway, I'm tired, and i'm going to play the sims or something then go to sleep.
made it through another day.
goodnight. |
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| nothing. |
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| 12:41am 15/12/2008 |
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music: Universe - Sébastien Tellier - L'incroyable Vérité
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i sorted out all my risperdal. 74 pills.
i was going to try again tonight but i figured i will wait.
tomorrow i will try and go get my car then drive down to VA and try to stay with casey.
my great luck... i lost my phone |
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| 02:30am 12/12/2008 |
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I tried to kill myself today. here's the goddamn note...
if i should die before i wake i pray the lord my soul to take.
playaaaa 4 eva
this probably wont work but who knows
if it does...goodbye kruel world
lololll
nobody's fault but my own. check it. read all ive ever written.
your ad here!!!
also this is not a prostitution suicide, a liberal suicide, whatever.
dave, i love you. haha, that is a joke. because there are so many daves, get it?
dad, i love you. mom, i tried to love you.
casey, i've always loved you and i think you've always known it.
adam, i understand you. and of course I love you.
amber, i'm sorry. please make up for everything i've squandered. i know you will.
charles, hilary, hunter, joey... just want you to know you have all been very imporant to me. i could write novels on how much each of our relationships meant.
If i can say anything with this, it's that people with mental illness need to be taken more seriously.
it's not a joke.
if someone says they have mental illness "Oh, everybody's crazy!" is not an appropriate response.
I decided to kill myself in a cab today. i don't know why.
I don't know why she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die.
All of the sudden the side of my left eye really hurts. Coroner, look into this please.
Also. ... forgot what i was going to say. oh yeah.
What's the answer to 99 out of 100 questions?
Also. Do coroners check corpses for internally hidden suicide notes? I wouldn't, but someone Might put one in their asshole.
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Also, i hope i don't succeed in this attempt because i really didn't prepare enough. |
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| lalala |
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| 06:38pm 10/12/2008 |
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mood:  nervous
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http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1120236/board/nest/99194444
also this is a comment from youtube... "that dude has those thin eyes like the guy from pokemon LOL."
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Dear Chauncey,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg under the bus and I saw you pull the pants off of the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're high enough to understand that your Ford sucks. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep My virginity as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard and you should get that embarrassing rash checked.
Greetings to your frog Leonard,
Amanda
( a fun meme ) |
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| way hungover |
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| 04:07pm 09/12/2008 |
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mood: tired
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i drank too many white russians last night and then i went home with a white russian.
he's not like some loesr or anything, he's an artist.
http://fakebritish.com/
that is him, in a shirt with the art that he made!
cool.
he showed me a lot of other cool art he did but i can't remember the website for it...
oh well.
i want to sleep
this is hilarious... |
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| The final word. Well, almost. |
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| 01:47am 08/12/2008 |
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mood:  creative music: nothing.
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So I decided I want to stay here. Erin and Mike have been nice to me when I've talked to them this weekend, plus, I have looked on craigslist for places and have had almost zero luck.
This is the letter I just wrote to Mike and Erin about what has happened and what I think should happen.
Over 3,000 words.
Yowza.
Dear Erin and Mike,
It has been over a week since I was verbally notified of your plans to expel me from the apartment.
The primary reason which Mike gave me over the phone on 11/29 was that our payment to Time Warner was late, and subsequently they had planned to shut off our cable and internet service on 12/3. As I had taken responsibility for paying this bill, Mike took this to be my fault, and a breach of our written agreement.
After speaking to several attorneys and spending more time looking into what happened, I have found that you have absolutely no grounds to eject me from our apartment.
Below I have reproduced clause three of our agreement, which relates to the subject at hand:
3. The parties are responsible to pay the following utilities: cable/internet, gas, electric. The parties hereto agree to share the cost of these utilities in three equal parts on a monthly basis. If any party hereto shall fail to pay the utilities for any period in excess of thirty (30) days, said party shall be requested to vacate the premises and remove all their personal belongings, at which time this Agreement shall be deemed to be terminated as to that party and they should have no further rights with respect to occupying the premises.
Now, it is true that I did not pay the cable bill for more than 30 days. However, as we are all aware of the countless problems and false information that Time Warner has given us, I would like to provide you both with information regarding the reason this delay occurred.
As you both may remember, on the bill Time Warner sent us in October, there was a charge for $14.95 for the HBO On-Demand service. However, as you both are aware, we agreed to accept free premium channels from Time Warner as a reparation for the delays and complications they gave us in getting our cable and internet installed and activated. Thus, it was clear to the three of us that we needed to get Time Warner to remove the $14.95 charge from our account, as we would not pay for a service that they said would be free.
So, as I had in the past, I took the responsibility of calling Time Warner countless times, spending several hours on hold, speaking to many different representatives and getting different answers each time, and finally resolving the problem.
The resolution that we came to was that Time Warner would not only credit us for the offending $14.95 charge, but they would also give us one more month of free HBO On-Demand. I informed them that I would pay our outstanding balance when they had sent us an updated bill showing both the credit and the correct amount owed on it, and they agreed that this would be fine. I informed both of you of these events when they occurred, including the fact that we would pay when an updated bill was received.
The statement sent on 10/28/08 reflected the previous month's charge, the $14.95 credit, and the charge for the coming month. The due date on the bill was 11/18. Now, here I admit I did make a mistake. When I went online to pay the bill, the page didn't connect, and the payment didn't go through. I assumed it had, and disposed of the bill and deposited the checks each of you had given me for your shares of the amount owed. This was a mistake. However, when Mike informed me that the bill had not been paid on 11/29, I felt like an idiot, apologized, and paid it that day. The payment was made 11 days late.
When I emailed Mike a copy of our 10/28 statement, he noted that there was a previous balance, which reflected that I had not paid the previous bill. This is true, however, as I have pointed out, we all (including Time Warner) were aware that there would be a delay in payment due to their billing error, and that the payment of the 9/28 bill would be included with the payment for the 10/28 bill. Which it was.
Therefore, despite Time Warner's claim that our payment was over 60 days late (I had not spoken to them, Erin told me that this is what they said, and I have no reason to doubt that) we had all agreed to pay the 9/28 and 10/28 bills at the same time, which we did. Again, I admit that I made a mistake and accidentally paid the bill past the due date, but only by 11 days.
This brings us back to our agreement and the possibility of my breaching it. The excerpt defining what you both considered to be my offense is below:
"If any party hereto shall fail to pay the utilities for any period in excess of thirty (30) days, said party shall be requested to vacate the premises..."
Now, let's look at that closely. What it says is that the utilities (in this case, the cable and internet) are to be paid by each person at least once every 30 days.
Our first payment to Time Warner was made on 9/25, and the second payment was made on 11/29. Therefore, it had been 65 days since a payment had been made. Again, we are only counting the 11/29 payment as being 11 days late due to Time Warner's billing error. But based on the wording of our agreement, I did break it by going 65 days without a payment.
However, if we are to use the same interpretation of the same words of our agreement and evaluate both of your participation in the payment of this particular utility, you will realize that both of you also broke the agreement. True, I did make the November payment later than it should have been, but you both gave me your checks for the bill AFTER 10/25, which would have been 30 days since you each had contributed to the first payment. I am not positive of the dates of the checks you both wrote me, but upon checking my records, both of your payments to me for the cable bill posted into my account on 11/14. I know that I did not deposit the checks immediately after you gave them to me, but I am almost positive that I did not wait more than 5 days to deposit them, meaning they could have been written no earlier than 11/7, and that is being generous.
If both of you wrote checks to me on 11/7, that would make the gap between your payments 45 days, thus, a breach of the agreement on both of your parts.
Now, if the contract was broken by both of you almost a month ago, why has no one brought it up until now? Because we all agreed not to pay Time Warner until the bill was corrected, which is what we did.
If you both are going to claim I broke the agreement by having more than 30 days between bill payments, I am going to hold you both to that standard as well, which means that you both broke the agreement as well. If we take the wording to mean that there must be no more than 30 days between payments, that means that on 10/25 we all broke the agreement by not having paid Time Warner yet, 30 days since the last payment, therefore, by its own wording, the agreement would have been terminated for all of us.
On this basis, the agreement directs that not only should I be forced from the apartment, but both of you should be ejected from the premises as well.
But removing all three residents from their apartment based on an "offense" that they made together after having settled on it? That seems a little ludicrous...
Let's take a look at that part the agreement one more time:
"If any party hereto shall fail to pay the utilities for any period in excess of thirty (30) days, said party shall be requested to vacate the premises..."
Now, when I signed the agreement, I interpreted this to mean that one would have to be 30 days late in paying the bill, 30 days past the due date. With that interpretation of the clause, as the agreed-upon due date was 11/18, though I was late in paying, I made no break of the contract, as my payment was only 11 days late.
So this gives us two answers to the two interpretations of the part of our agreement that I am accused of breaking:
1) By going for more than 30 days in between payments, we all broke the agreement.
2) By paying past the due date by only 11 days, I did not break the agreement.
Therefore, based on this information having come to light, we are able to conclude that neither of you have any grounds to eject me from the apartment.
I apologize for my mistake in paying the bill late, but again, the payment was not late enough to break the agreement.
On a related note, I was informed by a lawyer that an agreement signed between roommates has no official legal bearing. It is not enforceable, and had I broken it, the only way you could use it against me legally would be to bring it forward in court as evidence.
That all being said, I have another reason for writing to you both.
Mike, on the phone you gave me another reason for wanting me out of the apartment. That reason being that I "don't have a job, and have no intention of getting one."
Now, I could see this being a concern of yours in terms of my ability to pay the rent and utility bills. However, as I told you almost 3 weeks ago, I have access to more than enough money to pay for my living expenses here. I also told you that I am going through the process of getting on disability, which, though not a job, would provide me with a stable source of income.
So, if you knew that I had the resources to continue paying rent, what difference would it make whether or not I had a job? I don't mean to be rude, but is it really any of your business? My "job" as your roommate is to pay my share of the rent and bills, and to be responsible for keeping the public areas clean. Despite the hiccup with the slightly late bill, I have done as requested. As an added bonus, I have not broken any clauses of our agreement: I have paid the rent on time, I have not damaged the property, I have not used the premises for any illegal activity, I have not removed/exchanged equipment, etc. Keep in mind, however, that the agreement has been deemed legally unenforceable.
I understand that my ability to pay the bills is a legitimate concern, but as I had previously informed you that this would not be a problem, I can only assume why you brought up my employment status. Is it that you disagree with my "lifestyle"? I have also previously informed you that according to several doctors, I am legally disabled to the point where I cannot work. Therefore, to cite my not having a job (despite my ability to pay rent and bills) as a reason to force me to leave can only be looked upon as discrimination based on disability, which, under the Fair Housing Act, is illegal.
I don't know how much you know or understand about my situation or for that matter how much you even want to know, but by no means am I required to give you intimate details about my illness. However, if you do wish to talk about it or simply to know more, I would be willing to discuss things with you to a certain extent. What I will say here is that I am working to the best of my ability to get into a DBT treatment program in hopes that I can improve my life and work again some day. Believe me, this is no picnic for me.
On a related note, Erin, in the email you sent me on 11/30, you said,
"We both feel that the late payment of the Time Warner Cable bill is the latest in a string of incidents that has made our living situation less than enjoyable."
The latest in a string of incidents?
If you both have found other "incidents" regarding my behavior in this apartment unappealing for whatever reason, don't I have the right to know what they are?
I can think of only one example: over 3 months ago (September 4th) you both sat me down to talk about my inappropriate drinking habits. Hopefully you noticed that I took what you both said to heart, as from then on I cut back a lot on my drinking. And honestly, I really appreciate both of you bringing it up to me, because I was becoming more and more "out of control" at that point. When you spoke with me I realized that continuing in that fashion could only worsen my physical and mental health, so I made changes and since then I have felt better about myself on that front.
Other than that, nothing has been brought to my attention. Again, if you have complaints about what I have done or not done in this apartment, please tell me, so that I can cease the offending behavior(s). I cannot read minds.
I know that you have said that you are unwilling to be flexible on whether or not I can stay, which is why I originally caved so easily. However, looking over the evidence (the fact that I did not break the agreement) and considering the costs, time, and effort it would take, I have come to the conclusion that I really do not want to move. Since I have been back, I have seen and interacted with both of you, and have generally been on friendly (and at the very least civil) terms with you both, and I do not think that it would be uncomfortable for us to further our living situation as it has been thus far. I like living with both of you, and I thought that you felt the same way.
As I stated, to my knowledge the only thing I have done wrong was this late bill payment. I cannot tell you how sorry I am and how much of a complete idiot I feel like about that. We all know that there have been countless problems on Time Warner's end since I first started dealing with them on 8/9 of this year, however my getting the payment out after the 11/18 due date was completely my fault, and I take full responsibility for it. However, as mentioned earlier, full responsibility for paying a bill 11 days late does not include my vacating the premises. There was a late fee of $5 added to our account, which I will of course pay.
Also, in going over our past bills, I realized I accidentally had you both pay the wrong amount in November. For the two months of October and November, the bill was $252.44, and we each paid one third, $84.14. I forgot to ask you two for the additional charges for the receivers in each of your rooms, which would have been $20.68 from each of you to cover those two months. But I am willing to let this slide if you are willing to forgive me for my one late payment.
Our newest statement was just emailed to me, therefore I do not know if we have received it by post yet, however, I decided to take care of it online. I am forwarding you both the confirmation email for the payment. The total was $122.78, and the portions are as follows:
Amanda: $32.38 + $5.00 late fee = $37.38
Mike: $32.36 + $10.34 extra DTV = $42.70
Erin: $32.36 + $10.34 extra DTV = $42.70
Mike, I believe you said you had paid the gas bill since it came in while I was out of town, so when you write a check to reimburse me for the cable, just subtract the amount I owe you from your total.
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I really hope that both of you can take into consideration what I've said here and can come to agree with the fact that there really is no reason to ask me to leave, legal or otherwise.
If you do feel the need to further discuss the issue, I would like to do it by email so that I have a record of everything, and because I can get flustered and lose track of what is being said and what I need to say when I am actually talking. Mike, I believe you can vouch for the fact that I became quite upset when talking to you about this on the phone, becoming emotional like that is embarrassing for me and also makes it hard for me to remember things that are said, and unfortunately at this point I can't help it. So please, for the sake of clarity, I think this should be kept to the realm of the written word. It is more convenient for our different schedules and it can be a three-way forum.
Hopefully there won't be much to discuss, as I think I have made myself adequately clear in this letter.
You both can obviously discuss this amongst yourselves, but I would appreciate you include me on any conversation surrounding this subject, as it is my fate that is being decided, and I would like to help address any concerns you may have so that you are not left with only your assumptions to guide you.
Let me know what you are thinking.
Thanks for reading all the way through.
Fondly,
Amanda
PS- If you do disagree and you both decide that you still want me to move out, I will have several issues to bring up. I think going by what I have said above is a very fair way to deal with this situation, so please consider it seriously.
Keep in mind that I harbor no hard feelings toward either of you.
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Jesus Christ!
I wish I could write like this for regular things, not just when I feel threatened.
What do you think? |
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